ANBU Hound
by Kakashis-First-Kiss
Summary: Tsunade wants kakashi to come in for questioning. But Kakashi knows what she wants, and it's two things. KakaTsuna. Not really humor, but there are a few lines in there that are kinda funny...


Kakashi sighed, kicked up his feet, and placed the porcelain ANBU hound mask next to him. He had the sense he would be waiting for Godaime a while.  
Ever since he said he had wanted to rejoin the ANBU, people had been acting increasingly cold and distant towards him. Kakashi had no idea as to why; he had been taking all the lower-ranked missions, simply to ease himself back into ANBU work.  
"Well, well, well, the dog came back to its master after all, huh?"  
Kakashi barely lifted an eyelid. He knew who it was, and also that they were very fond of making his life miserable. Morino Ibiki strutted into the room, Tsunade right on his heels.  
"Okay, Snuffles-show me what you've got."  
Kakashi still didn't open his eyes as he replied: "You haven't told me to do anything yet or asked anything of me."  
He felt a palm thrown across his face and his eyes abruptly snapped open. In less than a second, he had grabbed his attacker's wrist, twist it, and forced whoever it was to their knees. The grunt he heard confirmed that it was Ibiki, and Kakashi released him.  
"Shall we try that again?"  
Ibiki climbed to his feet, rubbing his wrist where Kakashi had sharply twisted it. "No thanks, I'll just smack you."  
"Again? Hm, didn't work out so well last time, now did that?" Kakashi taunted, ducking another swat at his head. "Oh, please don't make me move that much. Standing around all day was _so_ taxing-"  
"Brat!" Ibiki howled, taking a third swipe at Kakashi.  
"Oh, Ibiki, lay off a bit," Tsunade said from behind him. Ibiki mumbled something horrible under his breath, and then stepped back. "Kakashi, the reason I called you here was to ask why you decided to rejoin the ANBU."  
Kakashi shrugged. "I felt like it. Does it matter, or are you testing me for insanity?"  
"Damn you. You're far too perceptive."  
Kakashi shrugged. "I should have guessed it sooner, but oh well. It's too much work for me; such a drag."  
"Have you been spending time with Shikamaru?"  
Kakashi gave Tsunade one of the most innocent looks she had ever seen and replied. "Of course not. I'm just sick of doing nothing."  
Tsunade sighed. "Well, Ibiki? Mentally sound enough for you?"  
"Well, given that he's always been insane, it's hard to tell if he's gotten worse or not."  
"Be nice," Kakashi said lazily. "Anything else you want to ask me, or just the standard test?"  
"Not for you, Hatake," Ibiki growled.  
Kakashi opened one eye after settling in the chair again. "This is about Koharu, isn't it?"  
"Noooooo," Ibiki said slowly.  
"Overruled," Kakashi said, letting his eye close again. "The inkblot looks like an inkblot, the third Hokage was Sandaime, and the current one is drunk. Anything else?"  
"I am not drunk!" Tsunade yelled, leering at Kakashi. Kakashi gave a disparaging snort.  
"Please. One horse kick to the face and a couple pig balloons going off this is you," he said, pointing at Ibiki.  
"I am going to kill you, I really am," Tsunade growled.  
Kakashi sat up. "So kill me. I'd be glad to leave this _freaking _world and all its cruelties."  
Ibiki grabbed Kakashi's wrists and hauled him to his feet. Kakashi barely registered what was happening before he was being pressed to the floor, hands twisted up behind his back, a foot in his back. He yelped, and a hand was suddenly covering his mouth. Kakashi could barely force enough air through his nostrils to breath. His nose and throat burned.  
"Get your little self under control," Ibiki said quietly, leaning over to mutter the words in Kakashi's ear. "Or else." He abruptly released him, then allowed him to stand. Kakashi stood up, wincing at the pain in his back and shoulders. "Ow..."  
Ibiki made a face and turned around. "He's nuts," he muttered in Tsunade's ear.  
Tsunade sighed. "He's definitely not normal," she whispered back, "But he's not insane."  
"I have to object, Hokage-sama," he said. "He is by far not an average person-"  
"You're right," Tsunade replied. "He's so much more. He may have a different way of saying things, but he's just as normal as you."  
Ibiki grunted and turned. "Whatever. I'll put him through with the other ANBU and I'll just pass him."  
Tsunade nodded. "Fine."

Ibiki turned and shoved open the door, clearly upset with Tsunade's decision. Tsunade waited until the door had slammed to say:  
"So..." and sit next to Kakashi on the couch.  
"The inkblot still looks like an inkblot, no matter which way you turn it," Kakashi said, still not bothering to open his eyes. Tsunade sighed. "You are a tough one, aren't you?"  
Kakashi shrugged. "Whatever you say."  
Tsunade leaned forward, spreading her weight over Kakashi. "Then I think it's time we broke that hard exterior, mm?"  
Kakashi still didn't have time to fully register what was going on before Tsunade's lips were pressed to his, and suddenly his mask was down and he was being kissed passionately. kakashi, surprised, tried to slide away, but was held by Tsunade's hand and forced to endure the kiss. When Tsunade finally pulled away, she looked pleased with herself.  
"Well? How was that?"  
Kakashi smiled. "I say-" he reached up and pulled Tsunade back for another kiss "-Sure."

**A/N: Cute, huh? I kind of like this pairing, and I don't think its ever been done before... Let me know what you think, and if I get ten good reviews or a request I'll write more! Come on, I know you can…that little button isn't going to hit itself, you know…**


End file.
